My Reply to my aunt's reply.

I said sorry to my aunt and said I'll wash the dishes for 1 month and buy for her the New Age cleanser and serum from the SimplySiti line and what not and created this image for her but she have not reply me yet. (heart shape not drawn by me.)

After seeing her reply.

But she only said, "Salam Nadia. Noted."

Before seing my aunt's reply.

I’ve not seen my aunt’s reply to my email yet but honestly I’ve already start feeling guilty because I know she has to handle a lot of things and whenever someone’s stress they will come and attack her. I hope she understands. Bismillahirrahmanirrahim…

A letter to my aunt (malay)

Bismillahir Rahmanir Rahim

Assalamualaikum Alang,

Caca harap alang janganlah beritahu caca lagi supaya tidak melengahkan solat. Hati caca sakit hingga caca tidak dapat tidur malam. Caca rasa caca boleh jadi gila walaupun caca harap insyaAllah tidak terjadilah perkara yang tak diharapkan. Caca bukannya jahil. Caca tahu bila caca harus bersolat. Ibadah caca, biarlah menjadi antara caca dan Allah. Apa sahaja suami alang fikir, caca harap tak payahlah disampaikan kepada caca. Bila dia menikahi alang, dia seharusnya mengerti hanya alang sahaja yang harus dia “bimbing”. Tak usahlah nak membimbing caca sekali gus. Kerja itu biarlah ditugaskan kepada bakal suami caca dan Allah sendiri.

Cerita ini, caca memang tak nak ungkit lagi tapi biar caca ingatkan alang, tiga tahun lalu caca berusaha sedaya upaya untuk menhindari dia dari memasuki keluarga kita. Tapi akhirnya caca gagal dan dia menang. Mungkin ini takdir Tuhan. Caca cuba bersabar. Kalau alang fikirkan, dah banyak caca bersabar. Alang yang nak sangat menikahi dia, alang bertahanlah dengan sikap dia. Jangan sampai caca terkena tempias dia. Kerana ianya tidak adil memandangkan caca seratus peratus tidak menyetujui kedatangan dia.

Apa caca fikir, alang mesti belajar beritahu dia apa yang patut. Jangan sampai dia pijak kepala alang kerana apa yang caca lihat, alang memang takut dengan dia. First off, buat dia faham yang dia tak seharusnya masuk campur hal caca. Jangan sampai caca sakit hati sebab sekarang ni caca harus selesaikan Portfolio Development dan juga Final Year Project. Bacalah Ayatul Kursi kerana ia akan dapat membantu alang. Amin.

Sekian,

Terima Kasih

Natasha.

I tried to save the fish.

My aunt is nice to me most of the time but there are certain things which a lot of times piss me off because of her. Especially when she stubbornly insists that there are still oxygen in the fish tank whenever the “straw/tube” are no longer intact from the filter despite many fishes that have died due to the same problem and me telling her so many times that the straw is needed.

I don’t think she really care that the fish died. No one really care. Even my dad. “Fishes are fragile anyway,” they would say. But I feel the pain. Hanya Allah sahaja yang mengerti. Bagai hatiku dicarik-carik.

And they never listen to me. Why won’t they listen to me? I struggled every time I wish to save a fish. I really wish to save them. They never took me seriously. They will just ignore me because they didn’t want to fight. I really wish someone who reads this will really know that I do feel the pain and are not overly emotional. I need someone to tell my aunt how wrong her perception regarding the fish was because she won’t listen to me. I hate all my cousins because they always listen to me expression and emotionless. They never felt sorry for the fish. They’re always on the fence and will never come down. It’s pointless talking to them.

my aunt

My aunt is a very nice person. But like I said, after her marriage she turned really weird. I’m not saying that she’s no longer nice but she got more annoying. Recently she kept asking me to get married which come to think of it, is not that big of a deal. But the way she says it is really draggy and fake and annoying that it makes me feel like punching her face. And come on! She should know very well that I should at least finish off studying before even thinking of all this. And if I don’t think of it, why in the world should she. I mean look at the shitty husband that she got. She is in no position to tell me this. She should really stop because ever since she got married, she has then turned into a mouse.

My aunt's husband

I have never supported my aunt’s affair with her now husband but they got married in Batam anyways and my cousins supported it and no one cared about whatever that I said.

But I guessed the true colour’s revealed now and everyone’s uselessly regretting and this includes my aunt. Still the only one really affected by this is me. I really wish to say if only my beloved grandpa is still around none of this would have happened but again that would be the talk of useless people and I refuse to be useless like everyone else. So now everything’s on me since it’s no longer on my late grandpa’s but I bet if my grandpa hears this he would rise up from his grave. So let’s be useful people and not make him hear this okay.

The thing is, in that hell time when everyone uselessly accepted him, I told my cousin that if anything happens in this house I would stop talking to him and he said as the eldest one, he would make sure nothing happens and if it does he will do something to stop it. I just hope he’d never forget this.